​Allow me to nerd out for a second. Two minutes to be exact. 

If you've read the book (or seen the film), I hope you remember this emotional moment in the exchange above from J.R.R.Tolkien's, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Theoden the king, utters those words with the enemy fast approaching. He is having to admit that they have in fact been beaten that day at Helm’s Deep. The king is recalling that their enemy, the uruk-hai, don't care who they kill. They kill because they simply hate. They have been pillaging, killing innocents and scorching villages throughout Rohan for months, and now the race of men is entirely finished. They are at the door of his keep. He is hopeless.

Aragorn, the heir, then responds with crazed and inspiring hope. He calls his band not to retreat but to "ride out" into battle with him. In both the movie and the book, the inspired riders ride their beasts into the battle, swords drawn and (spoiler) defeat Sauron’s entire force with the help of Gandalf the white and some good magic.
I cry real tears every time I watch this moving scene.

​Scenes like that are moving to us because we believe them to be true and possible. We are inspired by the fictional riders because we were actually made to ride out like that, to hope like that, to act and do justice like that. You and I are capable of fearlessly riding out and meeting hatred with love.

In the last few days, we've been trying to process all the hate that is happening in the country (and state) that we love so dearly. We are confused and we are grieving with our brothers and sisters in California, Texas and Ohio. Like most of the nation, we continue to mourn the loss of more and more innocent life, born and unborn. 

Hatred and fear is so loud in our ears right now. It's all around us and we are beginning to lose hope that it will get quieter anytime soon.

We are all mourning in our different ways. But the truth is, the mass shootings over the weekend cannot be blamed on any one person, institution, or viewpoint. There is an enemy of God and he is a tricky sumbitch. The shootings are horrific symptoms of a deeply flawed culture that prioritizes things over people, earthly riches and pleasure over the "things that are above." We are blaming each other and hatred is growing. The enemy has divided us.

Will you ride out with us?

Will you cross the street to meet your neighbors? 

Cana and I started Del Rey Collective because we believe that in order to counter division and hate in our world, Christian people are called to love all the more, to double down on being the Church of Acts, by rooting ourselves in the Holy Spirit and loving our neighbors boldly.
Social media and on-demand content, has informed us, but at a very high cost, the loss of true human connection. We believe that small communities of neighbors on Open Porches has the potential to be a healing moment, a place of hope for the hopeless, and a concrete way for Christians to love their (actual) neighbors as themselves.

If you've read this far, would you consider joining the Open Porch Community?

​​In times like this we worship and we doubt. We want to hide and we feel called to act. However, there is only one true and Christian response to hatred, and that is love. Love in all it's shapes and forms. Receiving Love from on high, ordinary loving acts, and everything in between.
The Gospel demands it, our country needs it, God's got this!

Peace and Good!
Ennie and Cana

Going from city to city, youth conference to youth conference, camp and back again is not always as glamorous as it seems. Lack of sleep and inadequate nutrition, sleeping apart from my wife and missing lazy pool days with my kids are huge bummers. But, I'm also coming to realize that my family and I have been immensely blessed by my summer job/calling (or whatever you want to call it).
First of all, the heroic friends that I get to work with and glean wisdom from have not only inspired me to be more bold in my proclamation of the Gospel through the years, but have also inspired me to be a better human being, husband and father. I have the greatest friends who love me (for me) and are constantly cheering me on to holiness and wholeness. Secondly, on the road I get a lot of contemplation time. I almost feel guilty talking about it, but there is a lot more silence for me there. Whether it's while driving or flying (layovers too), travel affords me some good time with my thoughts, and good locations for listening to God's voice. Thirdly, I have the opportunity to dream some dreams, to learn and to experiment with new movements of evangelization and discipleship. Camp and conference culture is oftentimes a lab for the new evangelization in America, a place where some of the brightest and most selfless leaders get to share new ideas and models. I like this part a lot. But I also think it's dangerous if we are the only ones doing it. I think dreaming is for everyone.

All believing Christians should participate in the necessary exercise of "What's working? What's not working? How can we do this better?". 

Over the years, I've become increasingly convinced that one of the greatest tragedies of modern Christianity is that we've lost our sense of creativity, our ability to captivate people's hearts with the radical beauty of the Gospel. 

So, I wanted to ask you... 
What's working? What's not working? How can we better share our faith and captivate hearts with the Gospel of Jesus Christ? 
Are more conferences the answer? Better liturgy? What's your dream? 
Cana and I have our thoughts and opinions and we might share them tonight on the Live Q and A. But we want to know what you are thinking. 
Comment below or send us an email. We'd love to hear your voice. 

"And it shall come to pass afterward,
that I will pour out my spirit on all flesh;
your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
your old men shall dream dreams,
and your young men shall see visions."
​Joel 2:28 and Acts 2:17

Peace and Good! 
Ennie

Day time.
Night time.
Dinner time.
Bed time.
Your time. 
Our time. 
Family time. 
Prayer time.
Nap time. 
Me time. 
Taco time.

God's gift of time, we try and schedule it, but ultimately it keeps ticking away. We can't stop it and we can't even slow it down.  Last month I turned 40 years old. If I live to 80, mathematically, half of my time here is gone. Woah! I'm not feeling sorry for myself and neither should you. It's just that this "weird" fact (along with all the grey hairs on my head) have caused me to think more critically about where and how I spend my time. You could say I am way more intentional with it, I care more about it. I don't have all the answers, but I often find myself frustrated when I have "time to kill", when I'm not being productive with it.

Currently, our family is stranded in Flagstaff, Arizona. The transmission in our "Catholic Limo", the 12 passenger Nissan van, has blown up and it's held us up for three extra days while the mechanic rebuilds one for us. Even though northern Arizona isn't the worst place to be stranded, I find myself really frustrated. I had a game plan, time allotted, and now I'm stuck, killing time, waiting to get going again.

Or perhaps, I don't know the art of killing time yet. It seems to me that much of ordinary life is waiting. And much of the spiritual journey involves patient hopeful waiting. And patience is one of those strange virtues that can only be built like a muscle is built in the body. We have to exercise it, in order to grow it. When faced with a moment of frustrating waiting, it is our intentional pursuit of patience that brings us peace, and there grace abounds. 

"Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1: 2-4

Jesus never tires of growing us into the disciples He wants us to be. If we try and eliminate moments that grow our patience we will most likely miss the most important lessons that He has to offer. 
​
Is there something I could be learning from my current experience? Yes.
Could I use this time to form deeper connection with my wife and kids? Of course. 
Should I stop complaining and go to the Grand Canyon instead? Great idea!

How do you "kill time" when you are stuck waiting? Do you have a tip or trick? We'd love to hear how you spend your God-given "waiting" moments.
​Leave a comment below. 

Peace and Good! 
​ennie

​Like all of my human family, my perception of what is true, good, and beautiful has been tainted by sin. In fact, only recently am I realizing how far I have to go to rid myself of all the twists that have shaped my view of even just the concept of beauty. When I gave up on the world’s version of beauty all those many years ago, I didn’t realize that I hadn’t given up some ideal of the “perfect image” in my head.  And I’m not only talking about a perfect body, although I held loosely to the idea that such a thing is possible too. I’m talking about wanting to in some way, be perceived as perfect. To put it another way, I’ve always wanted others to think I’m getting it right. This is, I believe, a form of perfectionism. It’s a foolish concept, really, but one I’ve struggled with my whole life, especially with regard to the way I’m perceived. It is ironic, (and quite shameful) that I often care more about whether other people think I’m good, than actually being good. There are countless examples of how this plays out in my life. How many of my littlest decisions are motivated simply by wanting to be perceived in the best possible light. The tape in my head is often shouting, “but what will people think?!” 
Please tell me you can relate. 

I bring all this up, because at this moment in history, with the widespread use of social media, we’ve each been afforded a unique opportunity to showcase in a public way the images we want to portray about our lives, and indeed, about who we are. We have the ability to project whatever kind of image we want to project, regardless of whether it’s authentic, and to become “known” to strangers we may never even meet. That is, if we have enough filters...and passwords.

As social media has made its way into my life, I have tried hard to portray an authentic and accurate picture of my own life. I’ve also sought to temper my use of social media with ‘real life’, in-person, flesh and blood relationships that reveal my most authentic self. But even so, I’ve also noticed a definite temptation to an over-analysis of other people’s online lives. On the one hand I’m grateful to be invited into people’s personal daily lives. In countless ways my life has been positively impacted because of profound and even vulnerable things people have shared on spaces like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. But at other times, it has also felt like a sort of voyeuristic peek into friends lives -- sometimes they are total strangers even.  There have been times when I have managed to get caught up in the fantasy of ‘what their life must be like’, and it can leave me feeling ashamed and lacking. 

These feelings have opened up questions in my heart, and have me struggling to decipher if there’s a best (agh...more perfectionism) way to incorporate social media into not only my own life, but even our ministry. I feel like I have a thousand questions, but so far  I’m working with these:
Is it possible that by using the lens of what I am willing to share on social media, I’ve been guilty of depicting a fantasy-like image? Could our public sharing of some of the most beautiful, attractive, and well-curated snippets of our lives, actually have the unintended effect of leading another to believe that the gifts God has given them are somehow inferior to the ones He’s given us? And does the responsibility for this fallacy fall more on the person projecting the image, or the person taking the image in? Is my life actually enriched by participation in social media platforms to which I subscribe? Does my use of social media enrich other people’s lives? What even counts as social media?

I don’t have many answers, but even the pondering of these has led me to significantly cut back on my own personal social media engagement, and to focus on the here and now, and love even more freely those people with whom I am currently sharing oxygen. 

For now, I do know this much: if our private lives don’t match our ‘public face’ we have room to grow in the proper use of social media. Similarly, if our interior life doesn’t match our exterior social media life, we aren’t on the right path either. The rest is murky, at best, and I’m probably going to have to resign myself to the fact that there’s probably not a way to get it right.

​

In January, my career sort of went off script. Right away, I scrambled to find the original copy. But it's been useless, it's gone. The script has changed. Lately, my most authentic and desperate prayers have sounded something like, "Jesus, can you just show me a little bit of how this is all going to play out? What should my next step be? Jesus, in your mercy, a little bit of light here on the path could really help!" But, apparently that's just not how He rolls. Jesus... wants it all, He wants all my trust.

"Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me." John 14:5-6

I can relate to Thomas the Apostle. Not having the script is hard. 
When we ask for maps and He says "follow me".
When we ask for practical instructions for our mission, He says "love your neighbor."
When we want to know the most important part of being a disciple, He simply says "abide in me."

As frustratingly dim as the path sometimes is, I'm slowly learning to unclench my fists, and trust the true author of the script. If we want to make a difference in the world, we are going to have to be different in the world. Sometimes the enemy uses the world to script our lives out, to show us the step by step plan of a false fulfillment. But it's not the real thing. Jesus offers us the real thing. Those who follow Him, must trust, not only in the long term big stuff, but also in the smaller things of daily bread.  They trust and love in the everyday and in the ordinary, even when it's not part of their original plan.

Going off script is hard. But in order to live a life of joy, we must learn to be interruptible and flexible. A neighbor in need, an unexpected guest, an unforeseen blessing will always interrupt the script. You and I must be willing to be present to it, abiding in Him, and trusting in His ultimate plan, not our own.

I used to complain about all the interruptions to my work until I realized that these interruptions were my work. - Henri Nouwen

God wants my heart more than anything else. When I trust Him with the script, He gets all the Glory.

If you have doubts about your mission, discerning a new mission, or just want to chat about God's plan for your life, we can relate and we want to support you! You can always leave us a message here and tell us all about it. Be encouraged today! God's got this! 

peace and good! 
Ennie

This morning God used a refrigerator to speak to my heart.

I’ve been really struggling lately with a severe sense of hopelessness in regards to a couple of special relationships in my life that have been broken, seemingly beyond repair. Though I am certain I am not without fault in these situations, the feelings of hurt, confusion, and betrayal I’ve been experiencing have been very real, and pure grief. I am mourning the loss of some very beloved people in my life, and have felt helpless to know even where to begin to attempt any sort of reconciliation, especially since each of my attempts thus far have come to naught.

As we entered into Holy Week, I found this feeling of hopelessness bleeding into nearly every aspect of my life -- it was beginning to feel like even the most commonplace tasks were just another way for my weaknesses and shortcomings to showcase themselves. Everything from prayer to dishes to laundry to Easter preparations was irritating or sad at best, or just a plain failure at worst. I found myself thinking all kinds of negative things like “why bother fulfilling my Lenten promises, when nothing ever changes anyway”? 

All while this is going on in my brain, our refrigerator was acting stupid too. It was still keeping things cool, but the light inside, the ice-maker and the door dispenser were suddenly not working at all. Total “first world problem” of course, but certainly, did nothing to lift my mood. The first repairman declared it an $850 repair, which prompted a second opinion visit, because - yikes! And then it happened.  This morning, long before the second repairman was to arrive, as quickly as it had stopped working, it suddenly started working again! My daughter came to tell me the good news, and I admittedly did not believe it at first. (St. Thomas the Apostle, pray for me) But when I saw with my own eyes, my honest thought was, “it’s a Holy Week miracle - thank you Jesus!”

What followed was immediate rebuke and at the same time intense consolation from Our Lord. In a very real way I heard Him speak to my heart, “so you’re that quick to believe that I can heal a freaking refrigerator, but not your own dear heart which I treasure beyond all compare?!” (I know, I know -- Jesus probably doesn’t say ‘freaking’ -- my heart must’ve loosely translated Him)

It was then that I realized I’ve been seeking a human solution to my painful situation. After all it’s very much a human problem. I realized that though I’d brought this situation to prayer countless times, it was most often with the question of “what should I do?” But that question isn’t really one of surrender, is it? It keeps me in the driver seat, when He should be driving.

I won’t pretend that all of my feelings surrounding the loss of relationship or even my own weaknesses have immediately disappeared, but my spirit is now much less disturbed by all the feelings. Ultimately my hope lies in the one whom even the “wind and waves [and refrigerators, apparently] obey” Mark 4:41

God's got this. I have committed my dear friends into the hands of the Lord, and am now much more disposed to wait on the Lord’s refrigerator healing touch.

​- Cana

Our dear friend Audrey Assad has a song on her 2012 Heart album called 'Slow'. It's one of my favorite ballads (I think that's how you would describe it). Hidden at the end of the album, the second to last song is pure poetic goodness detailing the slow steady love of God that moves in the life of a disciple.

The bridge is the best: 
"I heard that faith moves mountains
I know it moves my feet
To follow you
And maybe I'm a mountain
Because it's moving me
To follow you"

Listening to that bridge the other day, it struck me that for a long time I was looking for "my mountains" to move instantly. When I had faith the size of a mustard seed, I saw my big issues, and my imperfections being solved real quick, like "into the sea with you mountain. BAM!". Now I'm starting to realize that my mountains move really slow, because God's love and His grace moves really slow. That dream I had when I was younger, that desire to quickly become a saint overnight by doing all the saintly things, I now know is a scam. It’s a lie that distracts me from receiving His love and letting Him do the work in me. I am never going to get holy quick. Because grace is slow. 

If you are beating yourself up today (like I often do) for what you haven’t become yet, let me remind you; You are the beloved... of the Creator. Cooperate with His slow grace, smile with the knowledge that you are right where you need to be and choose “slow and steady” as your mantra. He’s making us all better over time.

Brennan Manning once said that "Faith arises from a personal experience of Jesus as Lord. And Hope is reliance on the promise of Jesus, accompanied by the expectation of fulfillment." In other words, He is who He says He is and He'll do what He says He'll do. Looking back on my life now (39 years, 11 mos and 18 days), I can see that God has been moving mountains in me, inch by inch, ever so slowly. He's accomplishing something in me, I'm sure of it. And I am grateful. Fear tells us that the path to holiness is impossible. Grace shows us that it's just one step after another.

Peace and Good! 
Ennie

"That faith is not a fire
As much as it's a glow
A steady humble lamplight
In the window
And it's not too much
It's just enough to give me hope
'Cause love moves slow
Love moves slow"
- Audrey Assad, Slow

Life is precious. Even mine. 

Today, on my fortieth birthday, I’ve found myself reflecting on what it's all been about up until this point — and to be honest, I am in awe. Most days, I waffle between feeling like I should really hurry up and get my life together, so that I can have SOMETHING to show for myself before it’s too late, and a deep, humble gratitude for the truly countless and incredible gifts God has given to me in this life.

That first feeling of inadequacy comes from the very natural desire to be and do and produce something that's worth something, to give something of value to the world — but I'm finding that it’s fulfillment is ironically found in letting it all go, and quitting the comparison game. By opening my hands and heart and receiving the life I already have, I'm finding how truly valuable it is. Today, I'm aware. My eyes are open and my goodness, how precious life is!

I’ve been able to carry in my very own body nine unrepeatable souls and to participate in the miracle of giving birth seven whole times!!! Even though I don't always like my mom bod, it bears the marks of these incredible miracles that God has given me. I'm grateful for the fulfilling, joyful marriage He’s lavished on me. (Ennie and I have now known each other for half our lives!), for parents who introduced me to Jesus, and have never stopped pointing to Him, and for my many deep and lasting friendships, the gift of work and travel and study. Reflecting on all this has me feeling like a storybook daughter of a great King, which I am. I have everything a girl could have ever dreamed of. 

Still, I don’t want to give the impression that these forty years have been nothing but roses and sunshine and tequila. I’ve honestly, been struggling this week through the grief of of remembering dear loved ones I’ve lost over the years around and on my birthday — and the sorrow is very real. But in this strange economy of God, even the sorrow has revealed His love to me, and the roses and sunshine remain present there as well. His mercy never ends and tequila is good. 

Truthfully, I'm still a mess. And now I'm a forty year old mess. But this life is precious because He gave it to me. I am precious, because I am His, and not because of what I've done. I'm loved and nothing will change that. Today, I'm reminded, as Pope St. John Paul II said, "We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures, we are the sum of the Father's love for us and our real capacity to become the image of His Son Jesus.”

I hope you all are feeling this hope in your toes today!
I love you, and am praying for you.

​Cana

It’s a crazy, divisive, cruel world out there, folks. If we watch too much news, or click around on facebook too much, it can easily get depressing. So much vitriol, so much hate. We all know that there is more to the story, more good in the world than meets the eye, but oftentimes the news only shares the worst and we buy it. As believers, our reactions vary, but usually end up in worry, anxiety and a desire to do something (anything) to combat the "evil du jour". Or we just turn it off, plug our ears and block out the evil, pretending our little communities are the only reality. We ALL want to see God's kingdom come on earth, but oftentimes we don't know the steps to get there.

Here is a crazy thought, what if we defined ourselves by what we were FOR rather than by what we were AGAINST? What if we loved like Jesus rather than adding to the noise and to the division?

Because here is the reality, we will never overcome evil by simply criticizing it. Not that we shouldn't critique. It's just not going to do us much good unless we create something better. Or better yet, participate in what God has already begun, what He is already creating. At the end of the day, if we are following Jesus, accepting His grace in our lives, we must be the catalysts that move agape love and mercy from a concept that is simply believed and preached in our churches to an actualized way of life. It's not enough to critique hatred, we must actually love. Not just a metaphorical kind of love, a real love, that takes action and moves and does. 

Jesus' enemy love is the solution He gave us to heal hearts and a diseased culture. It's His wild, ridiculous plan A. It’s the responsibility of the Church (you and me) to boldly point culture towards that hope that is found in loving others when it seems absolutely ridiculous to do so.

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:44-45
 
Evil says that some people are just too far gone, beyond hope, beyond God's mercy. Love says His mercy is for every single one of us, the pedophile, the racist, the preacher and the politician. Mercy is real the moment we accept it in our own lives and is made tangible the moment we show it to others, especially those who are the least deserving of it. Church, the hour is late. Love of neighbor includes the sinner, the oppressed, and the "too far gone". We can’t combat the darkness by simply criticizing it. It’s gonna take some bright lights. Let your light shine. 

"For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others?
Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Matthew 5: 46-48 

If you saw our update email a few days ago, you saw that we've got a bunch of speaking and travel to do in the coming weeks. And though we are extremely excited about meeting and serving with new and old friends, it's necessary to check ourselves each time we are asked to go. 

So what if I speak to tens of thousands... if I don't have love, I'm just a big noisy cymbal.

Big noisy cymbals... mic'd up... crashing in a church (or arena) with extreme amounts of reverb and echo. I literally can't think of a better image to be used for describing something so damaging to effective evangelism as that. When St. Paul chose those words in first Corinthians, he couldn't have chosen better. It's the last thing I want to be. The last thing we should want to be in a world starving for truth, beauty and goodness and Christ. 

And so we pray... God give us love, first and foremost, for each other, our children, our ten-foot radius. Give me grace to consider others better than myself, assuming the best and seeing their potential, not judging my neighbors, lest I am judged. When we are asked to speak on your behalf, let us do so with pure intentions. Your Kingdom come, your will be done. Amen.

​Honestly, the Catholic speaker culture makes me feel icky (yup, icky). Cana and I long for a day when it's not necessary at all, when the people of God love their neighbors and their own parishes so much, that it becomes obsolete. But until that day, we'll go where He sends us and preach where we are asked. We just don't want to skip the loving part in the process. 

Peace and Good! 
Ennie

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3